This has gotten out of hand. We don't have much time, so I'll be brief. My name is David Wong, and I wrote a book called John Dies at the End -- this is the website for it. They even made a major motion picture out of it that will be in some theaters in February of 2013, and they have info and trailers on a website of their own. Then I wrote a sequel to that book called This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch it which you can buy wherever books are sold, right up until the day this causes them to finally ban books completely.

Updated 10-2-2012: It's out! Go buy it! The sequel to John Dies at the End, stupidly titled This Book is Full of Spiders, is now available in all of the normal places where you buy books. (Read More)

Updated 9-18-2012: The trailer is here! For the book, that is. Books have trailers now. Or at least mine does. Suck it. (Read More)

David Wong is the Senior Editor at Cracked.com, and you can find more of his work here.

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ORDER THE SEQUEL!